Nashville Airport

The trip starts in a line as most good trips do. There's a Canadian girl with her flag engraved on her ankle and she's drinking a Gatorade bottle liquored with Jack Daniels whiskey and her face is scrunched up in the sun like she ate a grapefruit. We'd see a lot of Canadians. It all culminated with one brave Canuck zealously hoisting the flag infront of crooning Julian Casablancas.

We're standing in line with the rest of the sheep but we're happy Bonnaroo sheep, and the sun isn't so bad yet and things are looking up in the way that things do when things are full of a great black hole of experiences yet unmet.

We all get onto the bus trafficked by a bald guy who looks like this music fest shit has had its way with him. He also looks the bald DJ from the Strokes video but I can't remember which DJ or which Strokes video it was. The trip is a short wait. Only two people go to the bathroom to pee.

Nashville, TN

There are two Californian guys right behind us.

Californian Guy #1: If I were in that camping ground, I'd go and steal some of that corn and like, live off it.

Californian Guy #2: Me too.

Californian Guy #1: What's that place called?

Californian Guy #2: Mudfuck Egypt.

When we step off the bus we promptly get our luggage and realize that we're all sinners and we're in the Devil's skillet. It peaked at 100. We also had to walk about a mile with over 80 pounds of luggage. I felt like opening a can of Spinach like Popeye after that.

It wasn't until an hour later in Hell that we got the tent pitched and that was the first of many times I'd get sunburned and look like a polar bear punched me in the head.

Assorted Experiences:

Someone asked me if I wanted rolls. Rolls? Ecstasy man.

A drug dealer sells acid right next to me. You want to be like Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock where he put the strips underneath his headband and let the sun melt. It's also 98 degrees and you don't want to be found in a ditch somewhere because you saw Harrison Ford descend on a cloud with a wreath around his neck.

The pot is palpable. Hard to discern if Bonnaroo is a dusty exodus for hippies or if it's one immersive clambake.

Saw a Gypsy hiphop guy named Jovanotti who ran around singing in half-English and incorporating Bonnaroo into every lyric.

Also saw Loretta Lynn, the Strokes, Cold War Kids, and Gogol Bordello. Gogol Bordello was the best because Eugene Hutz is like this godly phenonomon. It's like if Cocaine got Red Bull pregnant and the baby went to Gypsy Country to learn guitar.

Woken up at 3 AM by the angry heathens that are prostrate before Eminem. Also hear Rihanna and two guys talking outside.

"Shit dude, Rihanna's here?!"

"No it's just the recording."

Saturday was the best day because of the Gypsy music curated by Eugene. Gogol Bordello ranks up there with the best live acts. I also felt honored to be able to see Loretta, probably will never happen again.

During the Loretta set:

Loretta Lynn: Well ya'll I was hoping I'd run into Jack White out here but he's left me high and dry. And I know it too cause if he was here he'd be hogging the stage. He'd say "Let me have it Loretta." Desiree is beside me laughing because she always says Jack White is an attention whore, and the 80 year-old country lady gets it too.

Later at the Cinema Tent a random guy will walk up to me because of my shirt. [it's a White Stripes shirt]

The Guy: I've only told this to one other person but I cried after that Loretta set man. How could Jack leave her high and dry?

Me: I don't know. I saw him backstage at the Karen Elson set. She played Lou Reed.

When we get home from the airport we read that Jack White was busy having a divorce the next day.

Final Thoughts:

Bonnaroo feels like a rite of passage. The best time I had was in the Cinema tent watching Harold & Maude. The Cinema tent was a place of magic for me. They even played Raiders of the Lost Ark on the big screen, and one can't argue with that.

I loved and hated this thing. I also got to see a bellydancing class and do yoga and all kinds of weird shit, and it's an incendiary experience. Both because of the people and because of how hot it is.

I think I enjoyed it, but that might be because I'm now indoors in air-conditioning not being woken up by rabid Eminem fans and feeling like the Sun toked up right next to me.

It's also fun being in a place where selling acid and X is as consistent as buying a frozen Mocchacino.